Lisdoonvarna, an Irish town situated on the edge of a deserted limestone plateau, does not seem to be an ideal dating venue at first sight. However, the most famous dating festival in the world has been held every September in this one-time spa town, for over one and a half centuries.
Institutional match making has been a tradition in Ireland for hundreds of years. A talented match-maker would help partners to come together in many places, just like in Lisdoonvarna. So why exactly has this village of just 800 inhabitants become the center of dating? This is a long story, in fact a 158 years old story.
The only hot water spring in the country can be found in Lisdoonvarna, on which a flourishing spa industry was built. The healing power of the local mineral water was discovered by a doctor from Limerick, in the middle of the 18th century. From this point on, patients arrived from all parts of the country to enjoy the thermal bath and drink the waters.
Youngsters at the week end, elders for the weekdays
The water rich in iron, sulfur and magnesium has beneficial effects on rheumatic diseases. Agricultural workers, exhausted at the end of the harvest period, enjoyed travelling here to get some rest in September. Once here, single men, who were in the majority in the neighborhood, tried to find a wife during their holiday.
Music and dance parties were organized in the hall of the spa-complex, where music was provided by a pianist. More than one and a half centuries have passed since then. Unfortunately, the spa closed a decade ago, but the matchmaking tradition has survived. Every September, Lisdoonvarna organizes a grand scale dating festival, visited by tens of thousands of hopeful visitors, including a few hundreds of foreigners.
Over the years, it has become a practice that youngsters attend noisy parties at the weekends, whilst elderly people visit dance parties during the quieter week days. Quietness is of course relative, live music is played from noon to dawn at every place suitable for dancing, that is in restaurants, hotels and clubs.
Some has been returning for decades
I visited the area in the middle of the week, but I was immediately enchanted by the good mood. Although I did not get involved either in dating or in dancing, I still loved watching the carefree elders dancing. It is not only people looking for a partner who crowded the dance floor, but also happy couples who had previously found each other here. Many of them have been returning to the festival for three to four years, with near religious devotion.
A couple who first met 47 years ago on the dance floor, have been returning every year since then to evoke the dawn of their love. The proud parents of three children and grandparents of six grandchildren have even asked one of their children to change the date of their planned wedding to avoid conflict with the festival.
Many people love coming here simply because the festival brings back memories of their youth. They can get dressed gorgeously and dance till dawn, just like in the good old times.
Willie, the legendary match-maker
Finding a partner is possible on the dance floor, as anyone can ask whomsoever to dance, or use the skills of the match-maker. The legendary professional match-maker of the town is called Willie Daly. His father and grandfather played a similar role before, in point of fact, he is a third generation match-maker.
His consulting hours are held in a separate room of the Matchmaker bar, where I join him for an evening to see how he works. Both youngsters and elderly, men and women, arrive driven by an earnest goal, to look for a partner in marriage. Willie (as he is simply called by everyone) talks to every one of them, tries to get to know them a little bit, then has them fill in a simple form.
Membership fee is really fair, 10 EUR per year for women and 20 EUR for men whose number outnumbers women. For this amount, a few telephone numbers are received for a year. They belong to ladies and gentlemen who can be potential partners according to Willie. But the main field of dating is the festival. For one month, Willie walks around with his eyes open day and night, as he keeps on introducing potential partners.
His marriage did not survive matchmaking
The accomplished mediator told me that he has matched over three thousand couples during his operation spanning decades. There is no exact data available of how many matchmakings have ended in marriage, but numerous wedding invitations land in his post box every year. Willie Daly is a real old-fashioned gentleman, he communicates exclusively in person, maybe by telephone, and he refuses to use the internet.
He prefers assisting gentlemen of the country, he does not like bothering with men arriving from the capital. “If they do not find a partner where women outnumber men, they must be very choosy. How could I find a woman for them here in the country, where the ratio is exactly the opposite?” he claims.
Matchmaking has its dark sides, too. After a few decades of marriage and seven children, Willie was left by his wife because he spent too little time at home. His work involves going to parties almost every evening where one is in continuous discussions, plus watching and shepherding couples. After a time, his wife got fed up with this situation.
I asked him if he had met anyone among the thousands of applicants who he liked, but he only waved. When a lady asks his assistance in finding a partner, he cannot propose himself.
Not every divorced woman is shrewd
About half of the clients coming to the office have never been married before, the others are divorced or widows. For instance, there was a 69-year-old widowed farmer, whose wife had passed away six years ago. For the first few moments he was very embarrassed, and gave only one-word answers to Willie Daly’s questions. But slowly he became more and more open, and started to tell Willie about himself and about what kind of wife he would like to get.
He hopes that by being a non-smoker and a non-alcoholic, which is quite uncommon in the area, he could use this advantage against his competitors. When Willie asked him what kind of wife he would like, he answered without hesitation – a widow who already knows what it is was like to be married, but does not have a wretched nature, otherwise his husband would have had divorced her.
Willie reassured him that not every divorced woman was shrewd, many of them choose to divorce because men do not appreciate them enough. At this point, it had become clear that Willie’s job is much more than to introduce lonely men and women to each other. To change our outdated views can sometimes help us to find a partner.
People looking for a partner arrive from all parts of the world
Some visitors are so shy that their relatives have to take them to Willie. One girl was brought by her aunt, even the form was filled in for her by the aunt. The pretty, cheerful middle-aged lady was extremely embarrassed, but the immeasurably calm and kind matchmaker found the common voice very quickly.
American and German ladies had organized their trip to Ireland especially for the festival, and would be glad to settle down in a farm in Ireland, if they found a suitable husband. The choice is ample: there are a great number of lonely farmers living in the western costal area who would be very happy to find company. At this age, one is not looking for a short relationship, but for a real partner with whom one can have good conversations and live together smoothly.
A chunky heap of paper lied on Willie’s desk – old matchmaking notes knotted by a string, inherited from his grandfather. He told visitors that if they touched the stringed papers by both hands, they could take it for granted that they would get married in six months’ time.
Some travel here only for the dance parties
While dance parties were going on in Willie’s headquarter and in the clubs of the town during the nights, from twelve to two in the morning people could dance also in the old spa at the edge of the village. Unfortunately, it is not the same reception hall from where the whole festival started, but a newly constructed building.
I found a slightly different company on this dance floor; this place is not visited by dating partners in the first place, but by passionate dancers. They visit Lisdoonvarna every September expressly for the joy of dancing, to live only for their hobby for a couple of weeks.
There were ladies among them who exclusively dance here, according to their belief that lonely women have nothing to do in hotels or bars. As alcohol is not served in the spa, they do not have to worry about bring insulted by drunken men.
Homosexuals are welcome
Standing next to the usherette, I had a word with those arriving. It quickly turned out that an extremely mingled company had come together. Couples arrived who met here years ago and who keep on returning tenaciously. Very elegant, silent, mysterious middle-aged ladies arrived, who put on their dancing shoes and immediately took somebody’s arm and started dancing.
An elderly gentleman greeted us smiling. He has been coming back every single year to the festival for forty years, but even the organizers do not know if he is single or married. He always arrives alone but seemingly he does not look for a partner, the only thing he wants to do is to dance.
Although the festival is held for heterosexuals in the first place, homosexuals are not excluded from the fun. For a couple years now, after the great festival has finished, a smaller, three-day event is organized for them in the same locations.
It does not matter what someone looks like, or where he or she is from
Everything in Lisdoonvarna revolves around matchmaking in these few weeks. Fortune tellers settled out on the main square of the town. Not surprisingly the public statues on the main square also depicted musicians and dancers.
Later on, I was thinking a lot about why I so enjoyed this type of dating combined with dancing. I liked the fact that it did not matter what someone looked like, where he or she came from, or what sort of person he or she was. Old and young, chubby and pretty, clumsy and talented dancers, people wearing party dresses or worn out sweaters, all danced together. Everyone could ask whomsoever for a dance, there was no measuring, everyone simply wanted to have a good time.
Perhaps it would be worth copying this carefree, emancipated attitude from these ageless, Irish seniors. And if someone does not believe in dating through the internet, or would simply like to attend a great dance party, then Lisdoonvarna is the place to go, where he or she may find the true one with the help of Willie Daly.
